Have wise words and responses ready!
Do you find yourself in uncomfortable situations, feel bullied and not sure how to respond? Do you get caught up in other people's issues, drained of energy and made to feel exhausted?
If you are a sensitive person, like myself, you may have found yourself in uncomfortable situations, or even bullying circumstances and felt at a loss on how to respond. If so, I completely understand!
Whenever I felt vulnerable, I would research wise words to help me feel better. I knew I needed to go further and learn how to respond wisely and naturally, whenever I felt vulnerable again. The outcome became by 'Wise Guidance Checklist' which empowered me with the confidence I needed to be ready for the next time. Nectar to my soul.
In his article I will show you my wise guidelines, and a couple of my success stories, with the intention to help you, in case you wish to create your own.
Have your sentences ready rehearsed
When feeling verbally attacked and vulnerable, I learnt by having rehersed my responses over and over in my mind beforehand really helped.
“Thank you so much for sharing”, said in a respectful way, helps to cut the energy of tension.
Give yourself permission to pause and if necessary, respond later by having a practiced sentence you can call upon.
“Thank you so much for sharing, (following with) …
“... let me think about that and get back to you
“... just give me a moment to digest this”, or
“... I’ll get back to you later”.
Don’t worry if it feels awkward at first, I practised it over and over in my mind, until the responses became natural.
The very first time I used “Thank you so much for sharing” in a natural way was in a business meeting many years ago. The 15 staff who were at the meeting like me, had only just met the Facilitator that day. I was the receptionist and when he arrived earlier, I had welcomed him, as I did with everyone, with enthusiasm and a big smile.
For the oddest reason he decided I was a safe person to choose a discussion on the subject of personality traits. He proceeded by expressing his impression of what he considered my negative side would be. He, who was greeted with love by me, had quite unkind words to say.
My immediate response, in a genuine respectful way was “Thank you so much for sharing!”
The Facilitator found he needed to change the subject. He was caught off guard as he received no support or criticism from me on the flow he was on.
I have a feeling he was hoping I would respond in a way which proved his ‘negative side’ theory correct.
It wasn’t until after the meeting was over, when my colleagues came to me, sharing with such excited support at how well I had handled him, that I realised the power of that sentence.
I soon had all the staff who were at that meeting practicing it.
Respond with a question
The Good Life Ladies have a show in which they discuss how to deal with what they call "Judgy Mc Judgersons" (judgemental people) and in the show Belle explains:
Questions are way more powerful than answers!
When faced with someone who is judgemental or critical, Belle suggests the most powerful question is...
What is your intention behind that comment?
Some may not be aware of how they make people feel by the words they use, so by asking them what their intention is, it gives them an opportunity to express their words differently.
A few more questions which may be helpful to follow are:
Can you help me understand?
What is it you are trying to do?
Are you trying to be helpful, help me understand?
Reflection Point: Think of a situation which you know you could have handled better, but not quite sure how.
You are only responsible for how you are - not how other people are. At the end of this article, decide how different you would best handle this situation if it ever happens again.
Determine how you want the outcome to be, and focus on aiming for how best to create the solutions ahead.
As soon as I am tempted to defend myself - bang, I immediately feel the resistence. It doesn't work and it has no value to the outcome.
If I must say something, "Thank you" or "Thank you for sharing" or the question "what is your intention behind that comment?" Silence does not necessarily mean submission.
Allow others to come close to you, and allow others to move away
Abraham Hicks explains to this doesn't mean withdraw love, it means, you may instead choose to send love - at a distance. Below is a personal story in which, in doing so, I gained a great deal of personal power.
There is someone whom I love very much in my family, but everytime we had family gatherings, which was quite often at the time, he would find a reason to be angry and yell at me in front of everyone. I decided to do something about this situation and felt inspired to write him a letter.
In the letter I explained how much I loved him. I shared the special memories of him which I will keep forever in my heart. I then explained that when we have family gatherings, we (my husband, stepchildren and I) would arrive early, enjoy everyone, then when his family arrived, we would leave. They were always late at family gatherings, so it made perfect sense. I explained that I still loved him, but I now choose to send him love at a distance. I explained to everyone in my extended family this is what we will be doing, so everyone understood our actions.
He never admitted to receiving the letter, however he gave me the most beautiful hug when he arrived the next time. It was such a special moment, I then gathered my husband and stepchildren, hugged everyone goodbye and left.
To othis day, almost 30 years later, I still send love to my brother - at a distance.
It feels good to move away, and still love him anyway.
Let go of justifying
Learning to 'let go' is sensational. It takes practice, but when you do, it's awesome. As soon as I am tempted to jusify myself, I command myself to STOP! I breathe in, drop my shoulders, and let go as I breathe out. Forgive and send love instead.
Let go of rationalising
We are far better off thinking thoughts which make us feel better. Love people for who they are and not who you want them to be, and forgive.
Forgiveness does not condone another's bad behavior, it releases the negative cord of attachment which causes emotional pain and your energy to be drained.
Forgiveness can seem so daunting a task and sometimes you may need help. If this is you, the program 'Higher Communications', through a series of visual guided meditations in movie form - just like watching a 10 to 15 minute video - is the easiest possible process available to forgive and heal. The Visual Meditations are created to serve the hard of hearing, those new to meditation and who have difficulty visualising.
Ask for help from your higher self
I know my letter in the story above was an inspiration I received from my higher self - and it really worked.
If this concept is new to you, and you are keen to get to know the spiritual support which surronds you, the program Higher Communications is a beautiful, easy to experience and an ideal starting point to help you. The first five visual guided meditations leading to your higher self is available for fee on this website.
Look for reasons to feel good and look for things to appreciate
The idea is to feel good inside. When we feel good, we are happy. Our happiness is the best possible gift to give another. Spending time to appreciate and focus on the good in your life is the best way to manifest more good things in accordance with the Law of Attraction. Looking for reasons to feel good and things to appreciate magnitises the good feeling situations I would much prefer experience.
You may find my blog article How to uplift your thoughts to feel better helpful with techniques to uplift the way you feel.
Visual Guided Meditations
In Quantum Hypnotherapy, through my clients quantum selves, we are given consistent advice to meditate as a way to help overcome challenges, feel balanced and have an improved view of the world.
It is for this reason that I invite you to experience the visual guided meditations in the program Higher Communications. They are created in a soft and fluent visual way to also serve the hard of hearing.
Are you new to meditation? Higher Communications is a very comfortable, soft introduction to the meditation process .
Meditate with ease by watching a little video
The first five meditations in the Module Align which are available on this web site are free.
Through these first five meditations, you will peel away burdens you have been carrying and gain confidence in reaching your higher self. Your higher self will help guide you in seeking the wisest words, the perfect timing, and the courage to speak or take the best course of action to your challenges.
Have your sentences ready; never reprimand; never defend; let go of justifying; let go of rationalising; forgive; ask for help from your higher self; look for reasons to feel good and for things to appreciate because your happiness is priority. The visual guided meditations on Higher Communications can help you.
The first five meditations is my gift to you. It is my intention to help make a difference in peoples lives. I hope to have helped you too.
Quantum Hypnotherapist, Author and Co-Founder of Higher Communications
Created in a visual way, perfectly serving the hard of hearing, those who find it difficult to visualise, and people who are new to meditation.
View the video below to explore the Meditations in Higher Communications.
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